Spirits vs ANZA Dream Team January 30th

 “They’re Aussies*, that should be motivation enough,”
  The motivation to beat Australians (despite the NZ in the name) is normally not difficult to awake**.
 Initially, however, Saturday proved the opposite as Spirits struggled in the field. 
 It was a game marred by a lesser, but far noisier, fixture on an adjacent ground. The cacophony appeared to affect communication and concentration levels to the point where bowlers struggled to find their direction and fielders appeared, if not exactly lethargic, then as if affected by events the night before.***
 John was steady with the ball; 1-36 is a pass mark. Martin less so. Having being informed the week before by Sandeep that he’d never bowled better, he proceeded to serve up a load of codswallop, 1-51 alleviated only by a great catch.
 Others came and did a little better; Gaurav aggressive 1-32, Amar passive-aggressive 2-39, Ravi 1-42 suffering from attending the Amar school of field setting, which dictates that you move a player and then bowl the perfect delivery to hit to the vacant spot.
It wasn’t easy: the outfield was lightning quick, while the out-fielding wasn’t. Rajesh*** in particular may have expired had he not lurked in the shade for much of the afternoon.
Still, 212 was by no means out of reach.
 And, get it we did, spurred by a sparkling 41 at the top by Rajesh, combining skill, daring and idiocy as he managed to find the only fielder within miles to a legside full toss. That, of course, was better than the experiment that saw Phil open the batting. Someone please come up with a twist-top joke to complement the phrase “redundant opener”.
Saravana smacked 13 before being washed away in one of the flood of Todd**** LBWs, giving way to Sandeep and Gaurav. Sandeep, in his usual manner, scurried quickly to 50 pausing only to run out the Skipper via a straight drive and bowler fingertips.
Sandeep’s participation in this unfortunate moment presumably ruled him out of man-of-the-match contention. That award went instead to Gaurav for a combination of penetrative bowling (it proved too penetrative for Shubham’s gloves anyway) and belligerent batting for 36. Post-award he fully justified the accolade with a man-of-the-post-match performance with beer and vodka. These too had their moments of penetration and belligerence.
 The other major award went, unsurprisingly, to Shubham for a wicket-keeping performance which made Rajesh’s fielding look like Jonty Rhodes. His batting also ended in tears with another Todd LBW.
It was still tight as we lost wickets regularly while keeping the run rate at the required seven an over and by the time we needed a run a ball off the last few we should have cruised home. We didn’t. Ravi (“I was trying to keep it down but the ball bounced up off my bat”), Martin and John with a few quick ones all departed and it was left to Amar, with a few slow ones, and the returning Sandeep to see us home. A splendid 71 not out, no more asterisks, from Sandeep could quite possibly have won the man-of-match award, but don’t ever run out the Skipper, however unintentionally.
Beer and vodka have already been mentioned. I’m fairly confident we trounced the Aussies at that as well, but I can’t be sure.
= Cheers = the Skipper
Unbeaten when in charge of Spirits
 *A nation of people west of Fiji
 ** I know plenty of professionals whom I would delight to have as guests in my home, but I’m afraid I cannot say the same thing about most Australians I have met.
AW Carr
The Australian temper is at bottom grim. It is as though the sun has dried up his nature
Sir Neville Cardus
The traditional dress of the Australian cricketer is the baggy green cap on the head and the chip on the shoulder. Both are ritualistically assumed.
Simon Barnes writing for The Times
Aussies are big and empty, just like their country.
Ian Botham
 ***Drink is a serious problem, particularly on cricket tours, for it can be said, without fear of contradiction, that nothing yet devised by man is worse for a sick hangover than a day’s cricket in the summer sun.
Michael Parkinson
**** The Todd river in Australia runs through Alice Springs. It is usually dry. Presumably the two are not related.